SE Asia XII - Highway to the Danger Zone

Kenny Loggin may not have had in mind Thai transport when he wrote his 80's classic but it is a pretty accurate description for some of the things you see and experience on Thai roads. In Thailand to say that there are rules of the road would be a very liberal interpretation of rules. A very simple rule is to drive on the left. It is loosely applied. Motorcyclists go wherever they choose. Minibus drivers feel the need to show their police car chase credentials every time they get on the road. Coach drivers do not want to stop wherever you are getting on or off. Travelling in Thailand is always an experience.

In Thailand to say that there are rules of the road would be a very liberal interpretation of rules. A very simple rule is to drive on the left. It is loosely applied. If you want to drive to the right of oncoming traffic you can. Motorcyclists go wherever they wish. On dual carriageways the hard shoulder is a motorcycle lane where motorbikes can go in either direction. Motorcyclists legally have to wear a helmet, they rarely do. If you see a motorcyclist with a passenger it is almost guaranteed that one of them won't be wearing a helmet, even police motorcyclists don't all wear helmets. The helmets most people wear have more in common with a horse riding helmet rather than something that will protect you in case of an accident. The road isn't the only domain of the motorbike. I have had to jump out of the way of motorbikes on pavements, including police motorbikes. I don't know what the legal age to ride a motorcycle is but I have seen some very young looking teens speeding around. The Thai youth have mastered the art of fitting as many people as possible on to motorbikes. The art is most practised before and after school. Four people is not rare, and I've seen six with two toddlers being held in arms out to the side.

Minibuses are the most dangerous way to travel in Thailand. This is a statement not backed up by statistics but they certainly feel like the most dangerous. Minibus drivers seem to have a death wish. They drive like their pants are on fire. They pass everything in their way no matter whether its on a blind corner, double lines, oncoming traffic or if driving through the middle of a town. To make matters worse you are crammed in like sardines. They are not Ford Transit van size but Japanese minivan size. Normally they squeeze in 16 people but I've been in one where there were over 20. There are no seat belts, there might be one in the front seat. In the book "First Time around the World" they suggested carrying your own seat belt, I thought this sounded daft and it is for first world countries but it makes a lot of sense in Thailand. To top it all minibuses are generally overpriced. In tourist towns they are advertised as if they are the only way to get to the next town. They might be the only transport that will pick you up from your guesthouse and take you to the next town but there will be lots of coaches doing the same route. Coaches are generally three times cheaper than the minibus equivalent. If the minibus isn't picking you up then you generally have to wait until it is full. "We leave now" never means straight away.

Coaches are a very cheap way to cover long distances in Thailand. The cheapest are third class, they have sliding windows and stop for any passengers who want to get on or off. In the south they generally ply short routes, up north they seem to be prevalent on most routes. They aren't always designed for western sized people. I was on a bus from Ban Pasang to Chang Rai. It was standing room only and while all the Thais could comfortably stand up straight I had to have my head bent over to one side. The space between seats can be too small to accommodate western length thighs. While they can be uncomfortable they are one of the most entertaining way to travel long distances. The conductors are particularly vocal calling out for more passengers and you often find locals puzzled at you being on their bus with your backpack. Second class coaches have air conditioning, and first class or VIP have air conditioning, toilets and sometimes a stewardess dealing out refreshments. I generally travel second or third class because they are so cheap. Coach drivers have less of a do or die attitude than minibus drivers. However, all coaches I have been on avoid stopping. The journey is a fluid motion where getting on or off is done while the coach is still moving.

Outside of Bangkok Sangthaews are the main local transport. They often run regular routes. Sangthaew means two benches. They are pickup trucks with two benches in the back and a roof on top. There are often grab rails on the back for people to hold on to when the inside is full. Sangthaews can be an Australian style ute but they can also be old trucks with wooden cabins crafted on to the back. I have shared the back with a variety of Thais and their baggage. On on occasion the back was full of raw meat and egg yokes. On another I had a severed pig's head staring at me with some of the rest of the bits of his body. When his owners got up to leave they left a pool of blood on the floor. Normally they are a very cheap way to get around town (or go further). The only problem for the traveller comes when the Sangthaew mafia decide that tourists need to hire a whole vehicle to go to an attraction. I can understand it when locals don't go to a certain place. However, it irritates me when they drive passed the place anyway. For instance, in Krabi Wat Thom Seua (Tiger Cave Temple) is a popular tourist attraction outside of town. I could not find a Sangthaew driver who would take me for less than 100B. On the way back I discovered Tescos was just down the road from the turnoff for Wat Thom Sea. I walked there in under 20 minutes and caught a Sangthaew back to Krabi for only 20B. Sangthaews are usually safe to travel in because they run a local route, and if they go further afield they are on the look out for more passengers so do not drive fast. The scariest journey in Thailand I have had was in the back of a Sangthaew. It was from Trang to the pier for Koh Sukorn. The driver must have gone to the Australian Ute drivers school. I was hanging on in the back with piles of boxes and an old Thai woman who found it all hilarious. I have heard it said that Thai's drive like maniacs because of their Buddhist belief. I have often seen passengers in Sangthaews wai (prayer like gesture) Buddhist temples as we drive passed. I was sitting in the front of a Sangthaew and the driver took his hands off of the wheel (on a winding steep downhill mountain road) and wai'd the Buddhist temple. I'm yet to see a motorcycle driver follow the same principle but it wouldn't surprise me.