Mongolia

I left Erlian in the morning. The border is north of the town. I went to the central market to try and find the Russian jeeps that go to Zam Uud. You know you are in the right place because hordes of women with roles of bank notes descend upon you wanting to exchange money. I only had 200Y left and exchanged it for 32,000TNG which seemed a good exchange rate but at the border crossing you can get a better one at the official exchanges. I intended to take one of the Russian jeeps. Instead I was directed into the back of a very shabby looking VW Passat. The driver charged me 70Y and off we went. What I hadn't realised when I got in was that the rear seat I was sitting on was not a seat. I had noticed a quilt over the back seat and assumed it was because the seat had worn out. What I did not realise until I was sitting bent double was that the quilt was covering a layer of sacks. There was another layer of sacks along the rear parcel shelf and there were sacks in the front seat wells. I don't know what was in these sacks but it was something that he had made a poor attempt to conceal. So we roared 5 minutes up the road before stopping for half an hour, turning round and going back to the market and waiting there another half an hour while he talked to some mafioso figures. Two more locals joined me on the back seat and we set off for the border. The road through Erlian, across the border, and into Zam Uud is perfectly straight. We roared up to Chinese customs, the driver was very keen on all the windows being up so the one window winder was passed around. I had no problems at Chinese immigration and pressed 'satisfactory' on the immigration official's rating box. In Chinese state run institutions they have customer service electronic rating machines, the three options being 'satisfactory', average', and 'poor'. We all piled back into the car and headed across no-man's land. A long line of trucks stretched toward the Mongolian border. We flew passed only for the Passat to grind to a halt. The driver tried a variety of fixes to get us moving again while truck drivers looked on giving encouragement. The window winder was passed around again. Eventually, with the aid of a mudpack, we were on our way again. Mongolia immigration was a breeze. No questions asked other than a stern look. The Mongolian Immigration and Customs was surprisingly chaotic. There were lots of Mongolians hanging around. I went upstairs to try and find the train ticket office. It turns out there isn't one or they did not want to sell me a ticket. I wandered in and out of offices until I found one guy who said "no Zam Uud". I'm not sure any other country I've been to would let you just wander in and out of the customs and immigration building. Outside a customs official was checking the car. He took no interest in my bags in the boot which were lifted out of the way. He did express on interest in all of the poorly hidden sacks in the car. I'm not sure what was said but we were allowed to continue. The driver then decided he wanted payment which I smilingly declined until he dropped me off in Zam Uud.

Zam Uud is only a few minutes drive from the border. It is much smaller than Erlian and much less developed. There is one very new road that goes through the town from the border (I assume the Chinese built it). Other than that there are a few ugly concrete square buildings, some charming if decrepit wooden homes and some Gers. Its pleasant to look around but it doesn't take long. I was dropped off in front of the Railway Station. The black building to the left of the Railway Station sells tickets. Mongolians like most Asians don't queue. There was hardly anyone purchasing tickets but people still tried to push in front of me even when I was in the act of buying the ticket. I got a kupe ticket (4 berth) for 15,900TUG (about $16) for the overnight journey to Ulan Bator. Downstairs is a left luggage room (250 TUG) staffed by an intimidating and authoritarian Mongolian lady who turned out to be quite friendly after I attempted to say 'thankyou' in Mongolian. When Elton John said sorry was the hardest word he had obviously not tried to pronounce thankyou in Mongolian. I kept saying it and people look at me strangely I repeat it a few times until I'd say thankyou in English whereupon they would say it in Mongolian, I would repeat it incorrectly and they would say it again, I again repeat incorrectly and they would cut their losses.

Mongolian train attendants look somewhat mean and menacing in their 1970s style stewardess outfits. I half expected a large spike to appear from the sole of their knee high boots. In my kupe was one Mongolian woman and two Mongolian traders. One was short and round and called Batu, he spoke a bit of English. He had a tall friend with a large scar across his face. I didn't catch his name but Scarface struck me as appropriate. I arrived in the cabin to find Batu tucking into his lamb dinner, a large fatty bone was thrust in my direction whether I wanted it or not. Whereupon a bottle of vodka was produced, much like the leg of the lamb I was expected to join in. The bottle of vodka ran out in no time at all and I was sent to the restaurant car to procure another bottle. Luckily enough they would not sell me a bottle unless I was eating in the restaurant car. On the way back I came across a guy who was being tasered. I am not sure what he had done to deserve this. He was not having a good time whereas the guy with the taser was. Mongolians were walking up to him and twisting his ears. The sunset from the train was particularly beautiful as we crossed the desolate countryside. We then hit the Gobi desert where the train became uncomfortable. It was an old train so lots of dust managed to fill it. All the windows were closed which meant it was very hot and stuffy. I discovered that my bed was not very comfortable and the vodka hangover was beginning to kick in. Unfortunately Batu and Scarface returned just as I was dosing off. They had been to restaurant car and by all accounts had had a very good time and brought some bottles of vodka back with them. I did not want to play and after repeatedly saying no and stopping them from dragging me out of bed they eventually gave up. In the morning I was pulled out of bed at 7.30am because the attendant wanted my sheets. Batu offered me a can of beer which I declined while Scarface was knocking back the vodka. The two hours into Ulan Bator were very beautiful as we crossed the steppes. The closer you get to Ulan Bator the uglier the view becomes. Although there is something exotic seeing the suburbs filled with Gers.

I had heard lots of negative stories about Ulan Bator. I had been forewarned about the cab drivers. I hadn't booked a hostel. I caught a taxi to UB Guesthouse (if you pre-book they will come and pick you up). The driver decided to double his price when we arrived. I started yelling out of the window whereupon he gave in and let me take my bags. In the dodgy courtyard outside the hostel a girl vomited in front of me while appearing to carry cans of glue. I discovered that dodgy courtyards are the trend in ex-Soviet countries. The idea being that the workers would live in a nice community with a large area in which to socialise. Unfortunately now it seems these courtyards are surrounded by big imposing buildings with lots of dark alleys for people to hide in and places for large groups to congregate. UB guesthouse was a nice small hostel. I had a dorm bed for $5 a night. The beds were very uncomfortable but the guys who ran it were friendly and helpful. UB Guesthouse (aswell as all of the other hostels and guesthouses) run their own tours around Mongolia. I was hoping that a short tour would be leaving when I arrived, unfortunately that wasn't the case. Their advice was to carry nothing on you when walking the streets, and not to be out after midnight. I didn't witness any muggings myself but there were lots of stories to confirm what I was told. Ulan Bator does have an international feel to it from the large number of International Aid workers there. For a small city the traffic in Ulan Bator is pretty bad. The traffic is not helped by the driving style of the locals which combines Asian crazy driving with Russian aggressive driving. Ulan Bator is not as bad as it is made out, there are a few things worth seeing such as the Natural History Museum and the Gandan Monastery. There are also lots of restaurants that are very cheap, if you are heading on to Russia this will be the best value for money you will get in a while The reason for coming to Mongolia is to not to spend your time in Ulan Bator but to visit the countryside. I didn't have as much time as I would have liked because of my Russian visa expiring at the end of June so I headed out the day after arriving for a Ger camp. I went to stay at Elstei Ger Camp which is run by Shuren Travel. It is a beautiful site about an hour from Ulan Bator. When I arrived there was only one other group of guests there. Backpackers on an organised trip from Moscow to Beijing. Elstei Ger Camp is not your typical Ger camp. For starters there are hot showers and a restaurant. The food was excellent and plentiful. The Ger's are very comfortable. If you don't fancy roughing it but want to get a taste for the great outdoors then it could be the best option. The sense of space is amazing on the steppes. I went horse riding while I was there which was a bit of a sore experience. I visited a nomadic camp and had fermented yak's milk. After a few days at the camp I went back to Ulan Bator. The only trouble I had in Ulan Bator was on my return from the Ger Camp. I was staying at UB Guesthouse but this time in one of their side apartments. I was sharing a 4 bed dorm with two Dutch guys and an Australian. All seemed fine until they returned at 3am screaming and shouting. They took great pleasure in annoying me. I took great pleasure in taking their shoes in the morning.